Have you ever complimented a friend and they deflect and say something like, “This old thing? I’ve had it for years.” Or “Thanks but I need to get it cut.”
It almost makes YOU feel lame for saying something so ridiculous.
We’re taught from a young age to not be boastful so we’ve gotten the accepting compliments thing beaten out of us.
For me, it presented itself in the way I handled relationships early on. God forbid I actually *show* someone how much I liked them.
And then, my acting teacher noticed something that changed everything for me.
Here’s what happened.
A male acting colleague and I were doing an improv scene study as husband and wife. He hugged me and told me he loved me.
And I blushed.
I BLUSHED!
After the scene ended, my teacher asked me, “Do you have trouble accepting compliments?
I said yes.
So, for the next 6 months in class, I worked on getting comfortable "being seen".
In acting class! Seems so weird for an actor, right?
But it’s oh-so-common.
This might be happening to you, too. It could show up in acting class or when you make excuses for why you're not further along in your career. It’s sneaky like that.
One of the things I love doing (aside from acting) is to teach actors how to recognize, own and lean into their own talents. And it works especially well for tackling goals.
Let me show you how:
What’s one thing you’ve done for your career that you’re proud of?
What are your goals for your career?
What successes have you had outside of your acting career? These could be a success from 10 years ago, last night or this morning.
Why do you consider those moments a success? What exactly did you do?
Think about the qualities that helped you achieve that success. For example, let’s say your high school soccer team won States and you got MVP. Your qualities might be: the ability to work well with others, listening, being coachable, working hard, practice, etc..
Now, choose one of your goals. Brainstorm the ways you can apply those qualities to take action toward your goal today.
And as for accepting compliments, practice saying this: “I want to thank The Academy for this incredible award."
And in that instance, I think it’d be okay to blush.