Your acting career doesn’t follow the rules.
It’s an “I can't breathe I’m so excited” joyride that body slams you with an unexpected, hairpin-turn email that says they’ve gone in a different direction.
It’s as fickle as a cat who only wants to snuggle when you’re sitting on the toilet.
It’s as brazen as Prince’s raspberry beret wearing crush who walked in through the Out door.
In through the Out door! Who does that?
You do. Because you’re an actor. And the unknown is totally thrilling.
If you're like me, there's one phrase that really gets on my nerves. Wanna take a guess what it is?
I'll give you a hint.
It's not "You're released" or "They went a different direction." Those are annoying, too, but in more of a %#&$^! way.
Yippee! You have an audition!
Then, dread. It’s a one-liner.
I know what you’re thinking. How will I stand out? How will I let the CD know what a good actor I am and that I can cry on cue? What about my Meisner Training?
Throw it all out the window! (But not too far.. you’ll need all of this when the guest star auditions roll in).
Let's Start a Revolution.
Who's with me? Wouldn’t it be incredible if we could take the entertainment industry by storm and move it from a fear-based, nebulous entity to one where we all speak the same language – a language of strengths, self-certainty and positive growth?
That’s the kind of revolution I’m talking about.
I got a great question recently from an actor named Josh Berresford and wanted to highlight it here, because I think this is one that comes up for a lot of people... including me.
Here’s what he asked:
How do we deal with all of the bloggers, educators etc. out there, and be able to extract what will help us most and not be inundated with so much and so many to choose from?
Here’s my (very stream-of-consciousness) response:
Several years ago, I experimented with facial waxing at the most inopportune time.
I was about to take my biggest client to New York to meet all of my bond trading partners. It was a huge deal and I wanted to look professional.
So, naturally, I searched high and low for the perfect outfit and waxed the hell out of my upper lip.
Aaaaand, it turns out that while my outfit kicked butt, the lip wax...not so much.
I ended up with inflamed hair follicles which meant that I sported a screaming-red, pimpled mustache on the trading floor. Take that, Wall Street!
Today is my 15th wedding anniversary, so I decided to do break from my normal blog and do something a bit different.
You may or may not know this, but I was born and raised in Hawaii. And I got married there as well.
Another thing you may not know is that it's a tradition in Hawaii, for a bride to dance the hula for her husband.
Lucky for me, I grew up dancing and used to perform with my hula halau (hula troup) at various festivals around the island.
As humans, we need each other.
For companionship, for love, and definitely for goals.
Because we all have strengths and things we’re good at, but we also have the things we’re not so good at.
This could look like a person who has a million great ideas but never finishes one before she’s off and running with the next thing.
Or it’s the person that’s who takes so long weighing all the pros and cons that they never make a decision.
I’m highly aware of what my talents are and also very aware of alllll the things I don’t do well.
Enter strength-based partnerships.
One of the things I’ve learned from creating The Magnetic Actor Method is to not take things so personally.
In the beginning when someone unsubscribed from my list, I'd feel sick to my stomach for a while.
Now, I smile because I know it means I’m getting closer and closer to finding my people.
It’s kinda like dating.
One of my Most Embarrassing Story happened in the bathroom.
It wasn’t that someone walked in on me.
It wasn’t that I tucked my dress into my pantyhose.
It was about karate.
Many actors tell me they struggle with embodying or connecting with their characters.
So today, I want to teach you an added layer of character development you can use for your next audition.
First, I'll give you my 3-Step Framework, and then I'll walk you through an example.
Grab a frothy latte or your beverage of choice and tuck in.
Here we go!
Pop Quiz!
Guess what beloved TV character is described in this breakdown:
Droll. Dry. A wry observer of everyone’s life. And his own. Works in front of a computer doing something tedious in a claustrophobic cubicle in a nondescript office building. Gets by on his sense of humor. And snacks.
Any guesses?
You may have noticed by now, but I blog a lot about the importance of knowing your strengths. I also talk a lot about what it’s like to start a business.
And all the ways it’s rewarding. Aaaaand all the reasons it’d be so easy to quit.
It’s a lot of work. And I like naps.
I dream about watching an entire season of Westworld in one day. But I can’t.
I could…I suppose. But just for one day. If I want to have a full day where I do nothing “productive," eat popcorn and watch TV, I should be able to do that.
As long as I know my Why.
7, 21, 37, 49, 63
You’re welcome.
I’m totally cool sharing because tomorrow, those numbers are gonna win me the Mega-Millions.
But right now, I’m dreaming about what I’ll do with all.that.cash.
I dreamed of being an actor for a long time. But no one knew it, and I didn't pursue it.
Instead, I chose to bury my passion in exchange for a full-time sales & trading job at a Wall Street Bank.
I still tried to act when I could get away with it. But it was hard.
REALLY hard.
I was at an weekend retreat recently and wanted chocolate. No surprise there.
What was surprising was that when I walked into the meeting room a bit later, it was like someone had read my mind. There were bags of Ruggedly Handsome Cowboy Bark all over the table!
Oh wait…
I used to have a massive crush on Jon Bon Jovi.
Who didn’t?
That hair. The swagger. How his lips lingered on the microphone when he sang…
He was the ultimate heartthrob and he made me want to be a singer. Because then I had a chance of touring with him.
Why not dream big, right?
Have you ever complimented a friend and they deflect and say something like, “This old thing? I’ve had it for years.” Or “Thanks but I need to get it cut.”
It almost makes YOU feel lame for saying something so ridiculous.
We’re taught from a young age to not be boastful so we’ve gotten the accepting compliments thing beaten out of us.
For me, it presented itself in the way I handled relationships early on. God forbid I actually *show* someone how much I liked them.
And then, my acting teacher noticed something that changed everything for me.
I recently got back from 3 weeks on Oahu, which is where I grew up.
My childhood home is about 100 yards from Kailua Beach, and one of my favorite activities is to get up early and amble down the lane to watch the sunrise over the ocean.
On my first morning, I got down to the beach extra early and dutifully watched for the sun behind a cluster of clouds on the horizon.
It was the weirdest thing, though. The sky kept getting brighter and brighter, but still no sun.
Hmm.
You’re not going to believe this, but I just listened to my first episode of This American Life about 6 weeks ago.
And oh.my.god. Where has this been all my life?
The episode I heard was Act One of "The Breakup," with special guest Phil Collins. It was a cascade of belly laughs, tears and or warm fuzzy feelings that took me right back to the 80s.
Because Phil Collins was a big part of my life back then.
I grew up in Hawaii, and since I lived near the beach, it was fairly common to go surfing after school.
Well...everyone else would surf. I mostly just got bounced around in the shore break.
But one day as I was riding towards shore, a cross-current wave sideswiped my board and tossed me into the air. I did some sort of flip and – inexplicably – landed, feet first, unscathed, back on my board like nothing had happened.
I got new headshots recently and I was terrified. Headshots are one of those things that, as an actor, you KNOW you have to do but it’s so freaking stressful because “what will I wear” and “how many looks do I need?” and “what if my hair doesn’t cooperate?”
All the things that make you say no.
I’d actually needed new headshots for a while. But I kept putting it off.
Then...I started a trial run with a new manager and the first thing she asked me was whether or not I would consider new headshots.
Ugh. But I believe in kismet, so I knew it was time.
When I was younger I was a bit of a daredevil. I don’t know if it was actually me, or if it was just that the Oahu terrain practically required it.
There were countless deep mountain pools and waterfall cliffs to be jumped from. Lots of skinny-ridged hikes with plateaus in the clouds, and dark caves and deep jungles begging to be explored.
And if I’m being really honest, my most harrowing cliff jump happened only because my ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend jumped first.
I was not going to be outdone. 😬 #competitive
Have you ever had that horrible dream when you’re trying to make an emergency phone call but you keep hitting the wrong numbers? Or the one when you arrive at a posh wedding or high school reunion and realize you forgot to shower and are still in your sweaty workout clothes
Frustrating, right?
It’s a bit how I felt after I drove to my first audition in LA only to find out, after the fact, that they decided to go non-union.
Luckily, there was a HUGE bright side to my 14-hour drive.
Podcasts.
I walked by a house the other day that still had its Christmas lights up. I get it, those perpetually tangled strings are a complete pain in the butt to put up and take down every year.
But this house also had a giant snowman on the front porch, surrounded by fake presents and oversized ornaments. I didn’t see a garage, which means the owners walk by these decorations every day.
And every day, they choose NOT to take them down.
It’s all about choices.
If you read my blog post, “The power of being naive”, several weeks back, then you know that I went to the University of Michigan and that I’m pretty much obsessed with it. #goblue.
I wish the Wolverines had won the NCAA tournament, but I was still blown away by the way the team played.
It was incredible.
But that's not what impressed me.
I stole this blog from my Dad.
Kind of.
His “blog” was actually a hand-written letter he wrote to my brother who was about to start college as a pre-med student.
The anniversary of my dad’s death is on April 29th, and it's always comforting to read this letter. I love reading his words and “hearing” his voice, even though the letter wasn’t meant for me.
I was 8 when my brother was born.
I’m pretty sure I thought my parents had him because I’d asked them to. And this *might* actually be true.
Every Christmas I asked for two things. A miniature, real car (why??) and a Baby Alive doll.
I never got either.
I think we can all agree there’s not enough time in a day.
So in an effort to “add more time” to my own day, I decided to get up at an hour earlier, at 5:45, to exercise. I know, I know, 5:45 a.m. is NOT that early...and especially since I spent 18 years getting up at 3:45am when I worked in the bond market. But, times change (no pun intended).
One of my friends was just diagnosed with cancer.
Actually, she got the diagnosis a month ago, but she's still waiting to find out what kind of cancer it is so they can start treatment.
One month!
Can you imagine sitting with the knowledge that you have cancer, even just for one day, and not being able to attack it?
My friend and her family’s whole world came crashing down when they got that news.
And I expect a lot of the insignificant things they'd been worrying about dissolved at the same time.